Excerpt from Chapter Eight
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I first fell in love with
Elizabeth Montgomery by leg distance. No, that’s not a typographical
error, it’s not long distance. By leg distance. I’d seen her on an Alfred
Hitchcock or a Thriller or one of those shows with Tom
Poston and I thought, “My God, what a pretty dark-haired girl, and
those legs, oh my God.” Hmm. Confession time, Elizabeth.
I walked in to read for Bewitched and
Liz was sitting outside the office, too, reading — Memoirs of
Anais Nin or, I don’t know, but by some chance I happened to be
reading the same thing at the same time. I sat down and said, “Enjoying
that?” She unfolded those gorgeous legs and looked at me, and I saw her
in person for the first time. She had full lips and dark, soft hair.
She was sex all over. Still are, Lizzie. You still are. I’ve seen you
lately, you’ve still got that certain thing.
Well, she and I talk, chitchat, this and that,
and the door opens and we go inside to read together. Oh, before we go
through that door to read for Bill Asher and Harry Ackerman, we have a
conversation something like this:
“Oh, do you do crossword puzzles?”
“Yes,” she says.
“So does my wife,” I say.
“Are you up for this thing?” I ask.
She says, “Yes.”
I say, “Oh, God, you’d be wonderful. I saw you
in — ” And then the door opens and we go into the office.
And somehow the words that are flowing out of
my mouth — I’ve known Elizabeth Montgomery all my life, and she’s kind
of been my wife because she reminds me of Joey, and I walk into the
office more confident than I’ve ever been in my life, and I have my arm
around her and I say, “I don’t know about you guys, but I think this
girl is perfect. Let’s sit down and read this turkey and see if I’m the
right guy for her.” Or something bold and romantic like that. I’m sure
Bill Asher or Harry Ackerman or you, Lizzie, will have your version of
the same story, but that’s how affectionately I remember it.